The New York Times got its hands on a cache of leaked documents chronicling details of the prisoners held at Guantanamo Bay. And today, the paper devotes four full pages to the revelations found in the information, which comes courtesy of WikiLeaks. The Bush administration documents highlight “frightening, if flawed, intelligence that has persuaded the Obama administration, too, that the prison cannot readily be closed.”

Beep. Beep. Buzz. Ding. Health care is louder than ever these days, says the Chicago Tribune, a situation that could potentially have a negative effect on patients. Sound levels are almost double—72 decibels instead of 40—what recommendations say they should be and a crop of new studies say the extra noise causes stress, disrupts sleep and contributes to medical mistakes and “alarm fatigue.”

There’s been a “rapid recovery” at St. Louis’ Lambert Airport after a tornado pummeled the terminal on Friday. Two hundred out of a scheduled 250 flights—about 85 percent—are expected to take off today says the St. Louis Post Dispatch; only one airline is still out of commission.  Repairs will take months, but officials think they can be up to a full schedule of flights by the middle of the week. VIDEO

Quote of the day: “It was not being gay but for being a jackass.” Former Governor of New Jersey Jim McGreevey—the guy who made national headlines back in 2004 after announcing he was a “gay American” and resigning—wants to become an ordained Episcopal priest. But the church, which has a track record of welcoming gay clergy, has denied his request says the New York Post, not because of his sexual orientation but because he’s kind of a jerk.

Buckingham Palace is, apparently, trying to avoid a ‘when Harry met Gary’ situation. Every family has a black sheep who is cause for concern before a wedding. The New York Post says for Kate Middleton, that relative is Uncle Gary, her mom’s brother. And royal handlers are making a plan to keep the inveterate party boy away from “William’s exuberant younger brother and best man, Prince Harry.”

Good news. If you’re a BlackBerry-by-day, iPhone-by-night person, you might soon have a free hand. The Wall Street Journal has a special section in today’s paper about the waning hegemony of BlackBerry as the phone of choice for the business world.

Nice celebration, guys. The Spanish soccer team Real Madrid won the King’s Cup trophy on Wednesday night. They paraded through the streets on a double-decker bus to celebrate, and managed to drop the 109-year-old trophy off the front of the bus. The New York Post headline this morning is “‘Cup’sy-Daisy.”

America’s eco-consciousness only goes so far, reports the New York Times. After a promising star, mainstream lines of “green” products are struggling.

Charlie Sheen was late for his “Violent Torpedo of Truth” show in DC Tuesday night. And to help him get into Washington from Dulles airport he got a police escort. The Washington Post asks the question today: Who authorized the DC police escort?

According to the Wall Street Journal, “Kate ringers are a dime a dozen, but a good Will is hard to find.” It’s fitting then, that a spot-on impersonator would be in hot demand as England readies itself for the royal wedding. Enter James Cooper, a 26-year-old electrician whose had his hair thinned and his Cockney accent tweaked to play the part of Prince William. VIDEO

The Star Tribune says the Twins’ Joe Mauer may be the tallest catcher ever to play in the majors. But at 6’6 (in shoes) is he too tall to play his position? Experts say part of the problem is that being tall puts an extra strain on a person’s joints—“every extra pound adds an extra three to five pounds to what a lower extremity joint feels”—a serious strain for someone who crouches for a living. 

A distinguished doctor stepped down from his post as president of the American College of Surgeons yesterday after the reaction to an editorial he penned reached a fever pitch. The Detroit Free-Press says Dr. Lazar Greenfield was accused of sexism after light-heartedly suggesting that “semen trumps chocolates as a Valentine’s gift because of its mood-enhancing benefits for women.”

“If Dearborn practiced Shari’a law, would we have three adult entertainment bars and more alcohol-licensed bars and restaurants per capita than most other cities?” Those are the words of Dearborn’s mayor Jack O’Reilly in response to a Florida pastor’s claim that the Michigan city was ruled by Islamic law reports the Detroit Free-Press.

Officials can’t quite piece together their story but quilters say they’ve been asked to stop making blankets for veterans due to, depending on who you believe, either a bed bug infestation or a quilt surplus. The Minneapolis Star Tribune says because of the “generosity and efficiency of the quilting volunteers” the VA simply has no place to store the handmade donations.

Are you an ears man? Or a tail kind of girl? Easter is approaching and with it, says the Asbury Park Press, comes an inevitable question: how do you eat your chocolate bunny? According to one psychology professor, ear nibblers are “cautious individuals who avoid conflict and justify their actions by taking baby steps.”

The MLB took control of the LA Dodgers yesterday. Commissioner Bud Selig said he had grown concerned about the team’s finances after owner Frank McCourt took out a $30-million personal loan to meet payroll expenses. But don’t worry, writes LA Times columnist TJ Simers—“this unexpected Dodgers takeover is shockingly good news.”

He’s one of the most powerful agents in Hollywood. But his client list doesn’t include the usual roster of names. The LA Times has a very interesting profile of Norm Marshall, also known as the product placement king, in today’s paper. He’s the guy who was responsible for that scene when Forrest Gump downs some Dr. Pepper with JFK.

Americans, it seems, are falling out of love with one of their favorite foods: the french fry. According to the United States Potato Board, sales to restaurants have dropped by 500 million pounds since 2007. The Chicago Tribune says part of the problem is that “there’s been very little, if any, innovation across the french fry area.”

iSpy. That’s what the San Jose Mercury News calls the discovery, made public yesterday by two researchers, that Apple is keeping tabs on its users. The researchers found a file that records your location on all devices running Apple’s iOS operating system (iPads, iPhones, Ipods)  and on computers used to sync iOS devices.

It wasn’t so long ago that the word ‘vibrator’ was forbidden from polite conversation. Not anymore. The New York Times says these days they are “advertised on MTV and boldly displayed at Duane Reade, Walgreens and other mainstream drugstores, mere steps from the Bengay and Dr. Scholl’s.” There’s even an iPod-compatible version called OhMiBod that syncs rhythmically to your playlist.

Are you going to your high school reunion? If so, what are you going to wear? The Wall Street Journal says the same things that set our sartorial compass askew when we were teenagers—“the desire to impress mixed with feelings of insecurity”—can also lead us down the wrong path as adults. The Journal puts together a guide of “clothes that work for night, day, and Facebook.”

The fighting in Libya took the lives of two acclaimed photojournalists yesterday reports the New York Post. Tim Hetherington, whose documentary “Restrepo” was nominated for an Academy Award this year and Chris Hondros, a veteran war photographer died after a mortar attack hit while they were covering “door-to-door firefights between rebel Libyan forces and government loyalists.”

Who knows your neighborhood better than you? The LA Times says Google just released its Map Maker application in the US yesterday, giving users the ability to edit and add on to local maps. The program has been up and running in 187 other countries (Canada being a notable exception) for awhile but now US residents can join other users adding bike lanes, fixing names and sharing their favorite shortcuts. 

Everyone knows America’s got a weight problem. To combat it, the FDA wants to implement national standards for posting caloric information on chain restaurant menus. But the proposed legislation leaves one of the biggest culprits in the obesity epidemic unregulated says the Washington Post: liquor. 

Friday is Earth Day—the first one since the BP oil spill. And to mark the occasion, the Washington Post put together five kid-friendly books on the environment. I was impressed with the Post’s curating. Staff writer Julie Eilperin explains to her young audience that “at its best, environmental writing can illuminate the world around us; at its worst, it is preachy and dull.”

The St. Petersburg Times says the student body president at the University of South Florida gave a talk yesterday, one that lasted for 24 straight hours. Cesar Hernandez, who says his filibuster stunt was to raise awareness for student’s rights, told hours of personal anecdotes, read chapters from Howard Zinn’s “A People’s History Of The United States” and even talked through his bathroom breaks.

“If you’re single, drink and have an ex, [then] you need this app.” That, according to a woman who designed the Textalyzer, a new app that aims at putting a stop to drunk dialing once and for all. The Northwest Florida Daily News says users must win a series of four games before the app allows a text to be sent to anyone on the “forbidden to contact” list.

Leave a light on. That’s the plea US TV networks are leveling at Buckingham Palace in the lead up to next weekend’s royal wedding reports the New York Post this morning. Lights that illuminate the Palace’s exterior are to be switched off at 12:30 am, right when prime-time coverage begins in America.

The next generation would be the wrong way to describe the change in leadership in Cuba. As the Miami Herald puts it, the “new guard looks a lot like the old guard.” At 80 years old, the new number two in the country’s communist party is just about as old as the “almost ghost-like” Fidel Castro.

Corruption and courtesy. I guess they both do start with a ‘c.’ The New York Times says the police union has come up with an unorthodox response to charges that its officers have been fixing tickets. Instead of denying any involvement, a union spokesman acknowledged that ticket fixing is a long-standing practice at the NYPD, but that it’s a courtesy, and definitely not corruption.