I’d like 8 hours of sleep a night. I’d like a chocolate cake all to myself. And, I’d also like to know how to buy some Facebook stock. Those are the desires on everyone’s mind—well, that last one is. Unfortunately, getting in on the most speculated IPO of the year will be tough, says USA Today. Most brokerage firms are only offering Facebook stock to their regular, and frequent customers—and even they’re not getting any guarantees.

The more we learn about the “underwear bomber,” the more the whole thing seems ripped from a Hollywood script, rather than from the headlines. Last night, the LA Times revealed that the suspected bomber was actually a double agent, working in cahoots with Saudi intelligence and the CIA. He apparently infiltrated an Al Qaeda cell in Yemen weeks ago, and convinced them he was the one to blow up the bomb. I swear I’ve seen this one…

The John Travolta lawsuit is getting more serious. Yesterday, it was just one male masseur claiming the “Saturday Night Fever” actor asked him to “work on parts of his body not typically handled by a licensed masseur.” Today, another masseur has joined the $2 million lawsuit, claiming the same thing. According to both men, Travolta insisted that his glutes be massaged several times and then (unsuccessfully) demanded and offered sexual acts.

“All you need is love—and $250,000,” says the New York Times. Apparently, the creators of “Mad Men” paid $250,000 to license a Beatles song because they felt it was odd to have a series set in the 1960s that doesn’t include music by the Fab Four. Insiders say major pop songs are usually licensed for around $100,000.

A day after Maurice Sendak’s death, the Washington Post asks why his books struck such a chord with children. I think this sentence sums up “Where the Wild Things Are” perfectly: “There’s darkness and violence and complexity throughout Sendak, just as there is throughout the fairy tales of Grimm and Andersen, just as there is in life. Sendak’s work allows children to come to terms with their fears and nightmares.”

I’m contemplating another move—to France. If it happened, it would be a decision based solely on dessert. I’m talking about “cafe gourmand,” which, according to the Wall Street Journal, is the trend du jour in the French dessert world. Translated into English it means “gluttonous coffee.” Basically it’s a coffee and a tiny taste of three desserts. My sweet tooth and I are sold.

Arizona is stepping up its border patrol. The Arizona Republic says yes, it’s partly to thwart illegal immigration and drug smuggling but mostly it’s an effort aimed at litterers.  Authorities say drug smugglers and people crossing illegally leave their trash all over Sonoran Desert National Monument and Ironwood Forest National Monument, popular tourist destinations that flank the border, and it’s messing up the views.

California is on track to become the first state in the union to ban “therapies” aimed at turning gay teenagers, straight. The San Francisco Chronicle says the proposed law, which is on the state senate floor, would ban “sexual orientation change therapy” for teens outright, and require adults wishing to receive the treatment to give their written consent.

Some advice for parents: If you’re upset with your 12-year-old child’s grades, don’t shave their head, and send them outside in a “diaper and a tank top to pick up garbage and do windsprints.” The Minneapolis Star Tribune says neighbors called the police after witnessing one woman’s “diaper duty” punishment for her child. The mother is now in custody.