File this in the things-that-should-be-obvious department: Escalators and motorized scooters just don’t mix, says the Boston Herald. Apparently, this 56-year-old woman didn’t get the memo. The Boston transit authority released a VIDEO, which shows her being flipped over several times “to demonstrate the consequences of ignoring the rules pertaining to escalators.” Point taken. Witnesses say the woman walked away.

There’s a cool guest column in the Wall Street Journal this morning about how driverless cars are the perfect transportation solution. Clifford Winston, who’s a senior fellow in economics at the Brookings Institution, says it would be far better to spend money on driverless car technology than on high-speed trains. He says we’d have fewer accidents, less congestion, and the ability to safely text in the car if a computer was driving for us.

The Boy Scouts of America announced yesterday that it will uphold its ban on leaders and scouts who are “open or avowed homosexuals.” But the Minneapolis Star Tribune says the news didn’t jive with Minnesota’s largest group, which is also one of the country’s largest. Leaders from the Twin Cities council say they will continue to use “inclusive leadership selection” and welcome people of all sexual orientations.

An over-the-top positive review for Nicki Minaj in the New York Times this morning. Says reviewer Jon Caramanica: “Unlike almost any other rapper, she manages to exist on pop radio and hip-hop radio simultaneously (generally with different songs), and she’s equally comfortable in both spaces.”

Jon Stewart has shamed his employer Viacom into re-instating online clips of some shows, says the New York Post, as the company’s spat with DirecTV continues. After accusing Viacom of behaving like China, Stewart argued that TV shows aren’t indispensable, citing Oprah’s disappearance as an example.

Call it Skyping with the cops, says the San Francisco Chronicle. The Bay Area is part of the country’s first pilot program that allows people to video chat with an officer instead of calling 911. The service can be used for anything except a life-threatening emergency. The department says the chats are not recorded and are untraceable.

Gerardo Fusella “Shore got a sweet deal,” says the New York Post. The trucking mogul was sentenced to house arrest for defrauding World Trade Center workers out of $1 million, a sentence that he’ll serve out as his parents’ “luxurious Jersey Shore condo.”

Connie Smith is not dead. But she’s having a hard time convincing Florida of that. The Orlando Sentinel says the 61-year-old woman received her second “To Whom It May Concern” letter from the state’s Election Office last week, informing her that she’d been removed from the voter rolls because they’d received notice of her death. She got a similar letter back in 2008, after which she got the state to issue her a “non-death certificate.”