Pizza will not be on the menu at tonight’s presidential debate. Pizza Hut has retreated from its PR push to get attendees of the Town Hall presidential debate at Hofstra University to ask a pizza-related question in exchange for a years worth of free pies.  USA Today says the company bowed to critics who said the stunt was standing in the way of the important issues we face.

In an interview with CNN, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton took full responsibility for failing to successfully defend the US embassy in Libya against a terrorist attack last month, telling the network she “want[s] to avoid some kind of political gotcha.” The New York Times points out that Clinton’s statement comes on the eve of the second presidential debate and seems to be a bid to protect President Obama.

A group of law students from the University of California has been charged with killing a bird, says the San Francisco Chronicle this morning. The men allegedly beheaded an exotic bird during a recent trip to Las Vegas. Witnesses at the Flamingo Hotel (I’m serious) saw the men throw a 14-year-old helmeted guinea fowl around while laughing and taking about how they offed it.  The hotel features several exotic types of birds but the rest seem to have survived the students’ stay unscathed.

The SS Badger is asking the EPA for permission to continue polluting the Great Lakes, reports the Chicago Tribune. The last coal-burning ship in operation, the owners want a five-year extension to retrofit the vessel with a new engine that burns natural gas. They are also asking for the ship to receive National Historic Landmark, which, if granted, means “the Eisenhower-era ship could pollute the lake indefinitely.”

Funny column from Ralph Gardner in the Wall Street Journal this morning. Gardner writes: ” In any couple, one person is vigilant about making sure food scraps don’t disappear down the kitchen sink’s drain and thus eventually clog it, while the other couldn’t care less, or at a minimum believes there are more important things in life.” (I am the vigilant one, for the record.) The rest of the column chronicles his search for a garbage disposal to “lessen the conflict” in his marriage.

In the Wall Street Journal this morning—everything you every wanted to know about ear wax. In addition to the proper way to swab a dirty ear, there’s advice on which do-it-yourself earwax removal products are worth the money and practices to avoid: Do not even think about subbing “toy swords, baby spoons, bobby pins or car keys” in for a Q-Tip.

In today’s paper, the LA Times takes us into the secret back room at Madame Tussauds. This is the room where Angelina Jolie gets her tattoos reapplied and Lady Gaga has a standing hair appointment. “Like a ghoulish morgue, the room is filled with errant heads, arms and torsos as well as stacked bins of replacement hands, drawers of acrylic eyeballs and teeth, boxes of jewelry and racks of replica shirts, dresses and shoes.”