“If the swipe is the essential gesture of the smartphone revolution, the pinch is a close second.” The Washington Post asks what happens now that Apple’s “pinch to zoom” has been given court protection as a patented feature. A finger tap, perhaps? Circles? Maybe a finger wiggle?

The New York Post has the story of a New Jersey woman who can’t stop having orgasms—she has hundreds per day. Kim Ramsey says her medical condition started about two years ago and is technically referred to as “persistent genital arousal disorder.” But it’s not as good as it sounds—Ramsey says her reaction isn’t ‘Yes!’—it’s more like ‘Oh, no, not again!’

Jack Sock won his first match at the US Open. And the New York Times says he’s seen as the next great hope for US mens tennis. I can just see the tabloid headlines already in the hopper—‘Sock It To Him’ and ‘Sock and Awe’ are two of the suggestions in Harvey Araton’s column.

Fans of Neil Diamond will no longer be able to belt out “Sweet Caroline” at Penn State football games. The school has banned the song from the Beaver Stadium playlist, says the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review. School officials insist the the Jerry Sandusky scandal—and lyrics “touching you, touching me”—had nothing to do with the decision.

The New York Times looks ahead to the start of the NFL season and the prospect that the regular group of officials will still be off the job in a contract dispute. The replacement referee for one recent preseason game mixed up the coin toss. Times writer Sam Borden says this is an “unintentional comedy routine” that has done little to dissuade visions of an impending disaster.

Hertz just bought Dollar Thrifty for $2.3 billion. The deal still has to be approved by the Federal Trade Commission, but if it is, it will reduce the rental car business to three big players says USA Today: Hertz/Dollar/Thrify vs. Avis/Budget vs. Enterprise/Alamo/National. Good news: Experts say that there’s still enough competition to keep rates competitive.

The cargo ship of the future will have a sail. Not as the only means of propulsion—but definitely as an option. The New York Times says if you looked at the global emission of greenhose gases from all cargo ships the segment would be as big a polluter as the 6th largest country on the list. But energy is free for the taking if a ship is equipped to harness the wind.

If you’re heading to Yosemite for an end-of-the-summer vacation, stay alert says the San Francisco Chronicle.  A second person has died after contracting a rodent-bourne illness at Curry Village, one of the national park’s popular lodging areas. Four people have contracted hantavirus this summer, a viral infection passed from mice to humans by contact with an infected rodent’s feces.

If eating at Charlie Trotter’s eponymous restaurant is on your bucket list, you better book a ticket to Chicago right now. Considered one of America’s greatest chefs, 53-year-old Trotter will close his restaurant after service on Friday. The Tribune looks at his 25-year legacy to get a handle on the man once named Chicago’s 2nd meanest person.