San Antonio residents and Spurs fans aren’t the only ones hoping for the Miami Heat to lose the NBA Finals. The Sun Sentinel says bookies have their fingers crossed that Miami will continue to falter, so they won’t have to pay out the majority of people who bet early and often on them to win a repeat title. Vegas insiders say 35 percent of the money put down on future books—a season-long pool—was placed on the Heat.

If you’re planning an overseas trip, be sure to pack a good book and some patience. The Wall Street Journal says those passing through U.S. Customs checkpoints this summer should ready themselves for an extra long wait. Miami and JFK are the worst points of entry, though wait times are routinely above two hours at many major airports around the country. Officials blame the slowdown on a shortage of Customs agents.

There’s an awesome illustration of summer in Alaska on the front page of the Anchorage Daily News this morning. East Anchorage resident Maria Smith says she woke up to find a large summer guest drinking from the sprinkler in her lawn. The moose stayed and relaxed in Smith’s lawn all afternoon and she says he was “very friendly.”

Do you refer to a Pepsi as—a soda or a pop? Or a coke? What about the act of throwing toilet paper from the trees—is that TPing or rolling? The Raleigh News and Observer says the detailed maps created by grad student Joshua Katz showing regional dialects have gone viral since he released them last week. Katz took research from a 120-point survey done in 2002 and plotted the answers on several maps to show the density of certain turns-of-phrase around the country.

If you’re one of those people who keeps a Yahoo email account around so your spam has somewhere to go, consider yourself warned. USA Today says starting June 15 the company will put user IDs that have been dormant for more than a year back on the market. It’s the latest in CEO Marissa Mayer’s attempts to make Yahoo more relevant.

ATTENTION: THE NAVY HAS ABANDONED ITS REQUIREMENT THAT COMMUNICATION BE IN ALL CAPS. The Wall Street Journal says the switch to title case marks an end to an era which honored the “legacy of primitive technology combined with the service’s love of tradition.” The order came with a word of warning for sailors “not to go too crazy”—mixed-case sentences are only okay in the body of a message.

Ladies, forget your bra size. With a system it calls “revolutionary,” Jockey has remade the bra, abandoning the number/letter system in favor of ten “volumetric” sizes. According to the New York Observer, the idea is to give women more range while also freeing them from the stigma that comes with certain sizes. Jockey’s shift reflects the growing bust line in this country—while it’s hard to get an accurate measurement, some sources say the average American woman now wears a 36C, a full cup size bigger than in 2004.

The Wall Street Journal has a story about the lengths some couples go to to achieve to different climates in bed.  According to the Better Sleep Council, which keeps track of things like this, bed temperature ranks right up there with snoring when it comes things that stand in the way of a good night’s sleep. Mattress makers have responded by creating a slew of temperature-controlled models.

Looks like you can rock out anywhere. Minnesota’s famed rehab center Hazelden has helped everyone from Steven Tyler to Natalie Cole kick their addictions. So it makes sense—kind of—that the center is gearing up to host its first music festival, reports the Minneapolis Star Tribune this morning. The list of performers at HazelFest includes a slew of people with recovery experience. It’s also a rare opportunity to see inside the famed facility, which one-time resident Eric Clapton likened to Fort Knox.

Good news for chimps in today’s LA Times. The US Fish and Wildlife Service is considering reclassifying chimpanzees as endangered, a move that would afford those in captivity with a much greater level of protection. If the new rules are adopted, scientists would have to apply for a permit each time they wanted to perform an invasive test on a chimp, including drawing blood.

Don’t mess with a water cannon. There’s a dramatic photo of a Turkish protester on the front page of the Washington Post this morning. Police used water cannons and tear gas on those gathered in Istanbul’s Taksim Square yesterday to clear the area. Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan has faced major opposition since his decision to break up a peaceful riot with force two weeks ago snowballed into a larger protest against what many see as his administration’s “creeping authoritarianism.”

The LA Times has the scoop on the girlfriend of NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden. According to her prolific blog, which has been taken down since Snowden’s rise into the spotlight, Lindsay Mills describes herself as a “world-traveling, pole-dancing super hero.” Neighbors in Hawaii describe the couple as “quiet and private,” though Mills has quite a digital trail of photos featuring her “dancing, posing with friends, and scantily clad.”

The New York Times says the answer has finally been revealed to one of the art world’s most enduring questions: How many Damien Hirst spot paintings are there? The artist first starting making his iconic spot paintings in the mid 1990s. Hirst says he made the first few dozen, and then left it up to his assistants to fill in the spots, which means no one is quite sure how many spot paintings actually exist. Until now. Hirst cooperated with a London publisher on a book that will reveal there are exactly 1,365 spot paintings.

The New York Daily News’ music critic Jim Farber says it’s pretty much over already.  Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky” seems unstoppable as this year’s song of the summer.  Radio programmers say it’s a song with enough staying power that you’ll hear it through July and August.  Farber predicts Mariah Carey’s “Beautiful” and Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines” will also be playing on repeat this summer.

Black Sabbath is releasing an album today, the band’s first effort in 35 years that “fully” includes Ozzy Osbourne. The Prince of Darkness told USA Today it took a while for him to learn how to be part of a group again:  “It takes a while to switch off being Ozzy. I’ve been on my own for 35 years and it took me three or four gigs to become un-Ozzy and be a member of Black Sabbath again.”

Anyone in the mood for a Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe? USA Today says doughnuts have gone wild this summer as the country’s biggest brands roll out a slew of strange concoctions aimed at expanding their reach from breakfast snack to anytime snack. In addition to the aforementioned Sloppy Joe—which comes with cheese, by the way—Dunkin’ Donuts rolled out its own Glazed Donut Breakfast Sandwich and iHop put Jelly Donut Pancakes on its menu.

The New York Times has a good piece about how the NSA story has put Guardian on the map in the US. The British paper set up shop on this side of the pond two years ago and now has around 60 employees scattered around the country. Insiders credit the Guardian’s recent successes, both the NSA scoop and other high-profile stories, to its continuing investment in and “longstanding liberal and anti-establishment approach” to journalism.

San Francisco officials are equally baffled and worried about a new trend sweeping their city. It seems bus riders in San Fran have decided jumping from moving buses is their preferred exit method. Drivers say they’ve had at least 15 jumpers since the beginning of June—and virtually none before that. While some seem to be tired of waiting for expresses buses to make their limited stops, others seem to enjoy “riding the surf,” or hanging on to the outside of the bus while it’s cruising along.

According to the Wall Street Journal, caffeine withdrawal is now a mental health disorder. So is caffeine intoxication. Needless to say, it can be tough to quit a coffee habit. Experts recommend tapering down your consumption instead of going cold turkey to avoid side effects, including headaches, depression and nausea. For those who don’t want to quit altogether, try drinking coffee at irregular intervals, to avoid forming a pattern, and stick to less than 100 mg a day.

It takes one hour, six minutes and 48 seconds for the average woman to begin to feel the pain of her high shoes, according to a survey in today’s New York Post. While only 12 percent of men say they would intentionally buy shoes that are uncomfortable, more than 50 percent of women say they do so on the regular. Some women gave the Post tips on how to withstand the pain, like buying heels a size too big so your feet can expand without cramping.

Former NFL star Chad Johnson just received 30 days in jail for slapping his lawyer’s butt, reports the Sun Sentinel this morning. Johnson was in court facing domestic violence charges from 2012. He was just about to leave when he playfully congratulated his lawyer for a job well done. The judge didn’t think his tush touch was very funny, or that Johnson was taking his court time very serious, and threw down his gavel.

Who says Jay Leno isn’t modern. The Wall Street Journal includes the comic and car aficionado in its special section on digital technology this morning. Apparently, when Leno needs a part for one of his old cars, he just makes it with his 3-D printer: “The days of going to a junkyard and trying to find an auto part that says Packard or Franklin on it are over.”

It’s the tech industry’s biggest week of the year, says USA Today this morning. Apple kicks off the fervor with its first product announcement in nine months. Sony’s Playstation 4 is also rumored to debut today, setting the stage for a “hardware war” between it and Microsoft’s rival console, Xbox One. And, as USA Today reminds us, all of this comes against the backdrop that tech biggest names—Google, Microsoft, Apple—cooperated with the NSA’s surveillance program.

The man behind the NSA leaks has outed himself, reports the Washington Post on its front page this morning. Edward Snowden is a 29-year-old tech specialist and former undercover CIA employee. He says that “no single event” confirmed his decision to blow the whistle on the NSA, but noted that the “President Obama has failed to live up to his pledges of transparency.” Experts say Snowden’s acknowledgment is highly unprecedented and opens him up to prosecution. VIDEO: Snowden Reveals Identity

The Minneapolis Star Tribune takes a look at “buzzed biking” in today’s paper. In most states it’s not illegal to ride your bike after consuming alcohol—California and Oregon have laws against it—but it is dangerous, say safety experts. That could change, however, as more and more people come to view their bikes as serious transportation and laws around the country start catching up.

Experience in the battlefield has led to a new type of tourniquet, says the Houston Chronicle—one that “goes where others couldn’t.” Called the Junctional Emergency Treatment Tool, the tourniquet is designed specifically to fit around the groin. Dr. Keith Gates developed the new device after a tour of duty in Afghanistan, a job that required him to amputate dozens of limbs caused by IED blasts.

No longer do you have to settle for beautiful scenery or good food. The Anchorage Daily News says the National Parks Service is stepping up their food service, issuing orders last week that all concession areas must offer healthy food to guests. That means menus that include “fruits and vegetables, low-sodium and low-fat meals, reduced portion sizes, and non-sugary drinks.” The NPS is also encouraging the use of local and sustainable foods. But have no fear, the agency went out of its way to mention that hot dogs, pizza and ice cream will still be available.

Cocktail waitresses at the country’s largest casino are lining up to demand they be able kick off their high heels once and for all. The New Haven Register says Foxwoods Resort Casino is in the middle of a fight with the union which represents the waitresses over the right to wear whatever shoes they choose. Many of the server have worked at the casino since it opened in 1992 and say they have suffered through years of pain and doctors appointments to meet the high-heeled requirement.

There’s an interesting story in the Wall Street Journal this morning about why the sandpaper ping pong paddle is superior to its sponge cousin. In recent years, sponge and rubber have become the materials of choice on the professional table tennis circuit because they offer players more spin. But a hardbat revival is growing, says the Journal, as people take note of the sponge paddle’s high price tag and tendency to end matches quickly.