There’s a great look at the @HuffPo Spoilers Twitter feed in today’s New York Times. If you haven’t come across it, the whole premise is that it de-mystifies the Huffington Post’s habit of teasing tweets. So if the HuffPo sends out a link that says “3 foods that will give you amazingly smooth skin,” HuffPoSpoliers will respond with a tweet saying simply “Avocado, honey and sugar.” The Times says the feed is part of a larger trend towards media criticism in 140 characters or less.

Soap opera fans rejoice. There was chatter that ‘All My Children’ and ‘One Life to Live’ would continue online after their historic runs on TV came to end last year. And now it’s actually happening, says the New York Times. The Internet revivals started their second runs this morning at 5:00 a.m. when both Hulu and iTunes posted new episodes. The men behind the reboot say they only need about one-sixth of the original three million viewers to tune in in order to break even. GET LINKS

Following a spate of heroin overdoses in the Twin Cities, prosecutors have started charging drug dealers with third-degree murder, instead of drug dealing, in an attempt to staunch the problem. The Star Tribune says the unorthodox approach is the result of “outrage” in the prosecutor’s office. Experts trace the city’s heroin epidemic to the surging number of people who get hooked on prescription painkillers, run out, and then turn to harder drugs on the street.

There’s an oddly sweet photo of Kobe Bryant consoling teammate Pau Gasol on the front page of the LA Times this morning. The Lakers ended their season, and their chance at the playoffs yesterday, with a 102-82 loss to San Antonio. It’s the first time the team has been knocked out in the first round of the playoffs since 1967, says the Times.

If you’re looking for some new material, start saving your money. The New York Daily News says the late Milton Berle’s legendary cabinet of jokes is going up for auction in early May. The four-foot-high cabinet is full of classic one-liners and bits from Berle’s storied career. Auctioneers aren’t sure exactly how many jokes they are—or how many of them will work—but they estimate the number is at least 20,000. Opening bid? $10,000.

President Obama gave a very funny 20-minute speech on Saturday at this year’s White House Correspondants Dinner, or “nerd prom” as the Washington Post calls it. He spent his time at the podium poking fun of himself and revealing a “promo” for Steven Spielberg’s newest presidential biopic “Obama.” The Post says after the speech wrapped up is when the real party, or parties, began, giving a play-by-play of the many after-soirees and who was in attendance. WATCH THE SPEECH

Some people spin to burn calories. But the participants of SoulCycle’s 10:30 a.m. class in Union Square have a more specific goal in mind: they’re there to see Jake Gyllenhaal. The Hollywood heartthrob’s workout schedule is no longer a secret, making his favorite classes harder to get in to than an Ivy League schol, says the New York Daily News. Catching a glimpse of the actor is more than just voyeurism—it seems to be an unparalleled type of motivation for some. As one regular explains: “Having him there, I’m on my best workout behavior.”

Those shopping for a new home will notice that it’s harder and harder to find one with a master bedroom. That’s because many home builders, concerned that the term will be perceived as sexist or racist, are phasing the phrase out of their new projects. The Houston Chronicle says the more politically correct “owner’s suite” is being used instead.

The race to build the first human powered helicopter may finally reach the finish line. The Wall Street Journal says there’s a $250,000 prize for the first team to prove that they can fly for at least a minute. It’s come down to two teams—one from the US and one from Canada. Some of it is simply technology. Some of it is athletics. The Canadians are hoping their pilot, who also holds a speed record for biking, will come in handy during the final showdown. VIDEO

“All for One” is the headline in the Dallas Morning News this morning. The five living presidents gathered in the city yesterday at the opening of the George W. Bush presidential library. Despite their differing views, the former occupants of the White House all found something nice to say about the 43rd president. President Obama praised him for being a man who “takes his job seriously, but he doesn’t take himself too seriously. He is a good man.”

The New York Daily News expresses some outrage today, that the FBI knew last Sunday that the men who bombed the Boston Marathon were planning an attack in Manhattan next but did not share that information with officials in New York. The News says NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly was furious after learning he’d been kept in the dark, but refuses to publicly criticize the federal agency.

Miriam Tucker attended a charity event last week where, for $20, you could buy a glass of champagne. The catch, says the Tampa Tribune, was that 399 of the champagne flutes had cubic zirconia floating at the bottom, and one had a real diamond. Tucker was the lucky one to get the diamond…but she was also the only person to swallow her stone. As luck would have it,  she had a colonoscopy already scheduled for two days later, where her doctor recovered the stone and handed it over.

Can we please stop talking about TV, asks John Jurgensen in today’s Wall Street Journal. Jurgensen says you can’t go anywhere these days without someone bending your ear about the latest episode of “Game of Thrones” or asking your opinion of “Breaking Bad” leading man Walter White. He says part of the obsession is that TV dramas unfold over several seasons, “making these shows seem more ‘culturally crucial’ than stand-alone entertainment like movies or books.”

Good news for Twinkies fans in the Kansas City Star this morning. Four former Hostess snack cake bakeries are scheduled to openly in the next two months. That means you can expect to see your favorite junk food back on shelves by July. The new owners say they’re confident they can meet the supply produced by the factories when they were run by Hostess, so no need to hoard them.

According to the Washington Post, the federal government will spend almost a million dollars this year on maintenance fees for bank accounts that are empty but no one bothered to close. And it’s simply because no has done the paperwork to close them. Post writer David Fahrenthold calls the situation an example of “Washington’s waste, a rare specimen of cost untainted by any reward.”

There’s a disturbing trend rippling through the airline industry, says USA Today. More and more carriers are raising the fee for changing a ticket to $200 . US Airways made the switch yesterday, echoing a recent move by United. Delta and American have not yet raised their $150 fees but experts say not to be surprised if they do.

Women’s feet everywhere will breathe a sigh of relief to read that the New York Times has declared low-heeled shoes the “it” style of the season. Specifically, the Times is talking about low block heels, a trend that, bolstered by the return of cardigans, costume jewelry, and framed handbags, it christens as the “triumph of frump.”  Frumpy or not, the heels shown at spring fashion shows were “miraculously wearable” but still had “enough height to give your bottom a little lift.”

In a special section dedicated to energy, the New York Times asks this question: What would happen if everybody got electric cars, drove home after work and plugged them in to charge? It would be an enormous drain on the nation’s electrical grid, for one thing. Experts are trying to address the theoretical problem now, before it becomes a real threat. One idea is to introduce off-peak pricing to less the burden, another is to make power cheaper when the sun comes out or the wind is blowing.

Yesterday, People magazine named Gwyneth Paltrow the year’s “most beautiful woman.” This morning the New York Post reacts incredulously to the news with a biting story about the “insufferable elitist.” The Post takes issue with just about everything in Paltrow’s world, from her lifestyle blog, which is routinely ridiculed for giving out-of-touch advice to the masses, to her seemingly obsessive workouts and diets. As one passer by put it: “If I had money, a personal trainer and a chef, I would look that good too.”

Talk about multi-tasking. The Pioneer Press says a Minneapolis-based company has come up with a new product for “pet parents,” those who can’t bare to be away from their animals for even a moment. Part food dispenser, part nanny cam, PetChatz is describes as “a greet-and-treat videophone.” Basically it allows owners to dispense treats with the click of a computer mouse as well as checking in on their four-legged friends via streaming video.

How’s this for depressing: The folks in Duluth, Minnesota have received so much snow this year that April is going down in the record books as the snowiest month…ever. So far, 51 inches have fallen this month…and there is still more in the forecast. The last record was set in November 1991. The News Tribune says Duluth has received more snow since February 1 than it typically does all year.

I flew out of LA with no delays in security or on the tarmac—but apparently I was one of the lucky few says USA Today. Delays across the country have halted flyers for two days as Congress and President Obama butt heads on a 4 percent budget cut for the FAA. An editorial in the Wall Street Journal says the delays are actually a tactic to annoy people and pressure Congress to play ball with the President on the budget.  They could’ve furloughed non-essential workers if they had chosen to but instead are pushing for a different solution.

A Twitter hoax hit Wall Street yesterday, momentarily erasing $200 billion of value from the US stock markets. The tweets in question purportedly came from the Associated Press and reported that the White House had been bombed and that President Obama was injured, news that sent the Dow tumbling. The Wall Street Journal says the hoax highlights just how vulnerable an electronic trading system that buy and sells without guidance from humans really is.

The Tsarnaev brothers’ next target may have been New York City, reports the Boston Globe this morning. Authorities say the brothers planned to escape to the city “with a car full of bombs” after setting off two explosions at the Boston Marathon last week. “We just killed a cop. We blew up the Marathon. And now we’re going to New York. Don’t [expletive] with us,” the older brother allegedly told a witness.

The Elvis impersonator accused of sending letters containing the poison ricin to President Obama and a Mississippi senator has been set free, says the Clarion Ledger. Officials say they didn’t have enough evidence to hold Paul Kevin Curtis, and are now investigating the home of another man, one J. Everett Dutschke, who Curtis claims framed him for the attacks. According to online profiles both men are “musicians, martial artists and members of Mensa.”

If you’re interested in skewing your eating toward healthy without giving up on taste you should read Mark Bittman’s “Flexitarian” diet in today’s New York Times. It’s somewhat hard to explain but basically Bittman is trying to find a middle ground between diets that eschew all processed foods, red meats and nostalgic delights as the devil and ones that are built around unhealthy choices. The main idea, it seems, is to incorporate more fruits and veggies and whole grains but still remain…flexible.

“Midnight’s Children” is opening this Friday and the New York Daily News says it’s “amazingly” the first time one of Salman Rushdie’s books has been adapted for the big screen. Rushdie, who wrote the screenplay, says he’s not sure why it took so long for his work to make the leap: “Every writer friend has been able to get books made into films with sickening regularity.”